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Spent over an hour handwriting out some thoughts today. Kind of weird! Especially since I'm now putting some of those thoughts on here too. lol. Ahh, oh well. It was good to go relax with a pretty pen, a yummy vanilla candle and no pressure when writing.
Finished up the roll on my camera today--took the last six pictures on my resins. Feels good to finally take their pictures--I've owned them for SIX months and not touched the poor horses. My bad. Took two of the Bowie foal, one of the zebra foal, one of Bear, the pegasus from Michigan, and then the Noriker. I'm so bad, I don't think I've even named any of them yet. Weird how a year can fall apart in some ways (pretty much all of the usual hobbies) and yet in other ways it can work out really well (new hobbies, and now a combining of hobbies in some ways).
It's now been just over six months since I joined LJ and I'm really enjoying myself. It's not exactly made me all of a sudden a different person (and certainly not done so overnight) but it has helped me to make some changes in some other ways. Most especially, in attitude and finally actually realizing that it is truth when you hear that most everyone has the same fears and hopes and worries that you do, even if in the technical details they may differ. I'm impressed with how open some people are, and that they are able to share that much of themselves without also losing themselves. Not that I actually think that one can share too much of themselves, but I've noticed that I do tend to not overshare, so maybe that's some underlying thing that I didn't know I did think...I don't know. Have to work on it more, but it's nice to see that I'm ever so slowly reaching out towards that goal. You know The Hare and the Tortoise? I think I need to find an icon of that, and I shall be the Tortoise. *G* Tortoises, Glaciers and Erosion. They're all about my speed, except for the whole talking thing, in which case I speak too fast and should stop that. hahah.
I really do wish I was a more creative person--or maybe, I wish that I was more confident in my creative process. I love all sorts of artistic things, i.e. scrapbooking, drawing, writing, photography, painting model horses, painting rooms, flower arrangements, general arrangements, etc. BUT, I feel so incapable of anything all that unique...I'm good at taking bits and pieces of this and that from what I see elsewhere and am fairly good at translating it to another medium, but I don't know that I view that as being creative exactly. Just a very good chameleon. Or however you spell that silly little lizard's name. I've felt that way ever since I can remember, even in middle school. I'm not sure if I just don't have the sheer talent for what I want to do, or if I just don't have the follow through to make it go deep enough to truly become "mine" in my heart. I dunno. Will have to ponder on that one...and keep taking classes for inspiration, I guess. :o) For now, I'll just work on being happy being the steady purple sparkler that shines on amongst all the bursting red and blue fireworks that I see elsewhere. heh.
That bleeds rather well into my other thought...I view myself as being a warm, comforting, stable person--cozy, and therefore, not spectacular. Although my best friend would probably argue that vehemently...which is pretty cool, all things considered. I wish I could see myself through her eyes sometimes, and she through mine. We'd both be happier with ourselves, I think. I must (again) actively work on being more the person I'd rather be...I've actually made some positive steps toward this, but I see the need to make more now. Because, there are times that I absolutely positively yearn to be a spectacular and vibrant person...someone who not only is a comfort for her friends, but also a bit of an inspiration, or at least a zesty person. lol. Passion and vitality are some of my favorite things, yet I quietly indulge in my passions and dream about other people who are simply quite fantastic. I do believe that's part of why I'm consistently drawn to artistic people, I admire their ability to follow through on their passions, their muse, to see their life blood out there pulsing and pumping for all to see...despite their fears and hangups, they're out there LIVING and that's just so wonderful.
While cleaning off the dining room table this morning, I stumbled across a Reader's Digest. I adore that magazine, yet I've not even read any of the ones we've gotten this year. O.o The headline on one of them caught my eye, it was how to conquer the clutter without stress. Yeeeaaaaahhhh, right. But, actually, it was a very interesting article. And even more on the "how to" they focused on the "why" of it--clutter causes stress, and it's not just the stress of 'seeing' all the clutter, it's the stress of everything behind why you let it get that way. And the one I found interesting was the thought that disorganization was another way to avoid success--that clutter or the disorganization in other areas built a barrier between the person and the steps that it would take towards reaching out towards a goal. Or, a built in excuse, if you shall. I'm not saying that's exactly "it" for me....but it's not totally an insane idea either. It's got some merit to it. And the other thing it mentioned was that some people have clutter in their house as a way to withdraw from other people...i.e., they never ever invite anybody over (or conversely, never leave because there's too much to do...). I just about died when I saw that, because that is so true for me. Not that I consciously do it to avoid having people over....but certainly, don't want anybody over to see it as is. But, we're making very good inroads on changing that this month. Did a lot of cleaning up in the kitchen and living room, and will have four days next weekend to finish up the rest of the house. I am actually LOOKING forward to it! lol. It's been driving me up the wall for the whole year, and it'll be good to not die everytime I think of my house....ugh. THEN the important thing is to MAINTAIN, MAINTAIN, maintain. Ye Gods. But, really, I do want to, and that's a much different outlook than a few years ago...then I wanted to want to do so, you know? Which is sort of where I am right now with the eating healthier bit, though I am working on that as well.
Sheesh. Enough rambling? Maybe so. But it's good to do so, I think. At least, it feels good tonight.
ACK! The LJ Meet Up is getting closer. Which is awesome and nerve wracking at the same time. I'll maintain positivity--after all, I was freaked about going to MI and that turned out absolutely fantastic. Shall just have to look at it as a grand adventure, and see if maybe we'll actually connect and find some new friends. If not, at least it'll be a fun evening. :o)
Finished up the roll on my camera today--took the last six pictures on my resins. Feels good to finally take their pictures--I've owned them for SIX months and not touched the poor horses. My bad. Took two of the Bowie foal, one of the zebra foal, one of Bear, the pegasus from Michigan, and then the Noriker. I'm so bad, I don't think I've even named any of them yet. Weird how a year can fall apart in some ways (pretty much all of the usual hobbies) and yet in other ways it can work out really well (new hobbies, and now a combining of hobbies in some ways).
It's now been just over six months since I joined LJ and I'm really enjoying myself. It's not exactly made me all of a sudden a different person (and certainly not done so overnight) but it has helped me to make some changes in some other ways. Most especially, in attitude and finally actually realizing that it is truth when you hear that most everyone has the same fears and hopes and worries that you do, even if in the technical details they may differ. I'm impressed with how open some people are, and that they are able to share that much of themselves without also losing themselves. Not that I actually think that one can share too much of themselves, but I've noticed that I do tend to not overshare, so maybe that's some underlying thing that I didn't know I did think...I don't know. Have to work on it more, but it's nice to see that I'm ever so slowly reaching out towards that goal. You know The Hare and the Tortoise? I think I need to find an icon of that, and I shall be the Tortoise. *G* Tortoises, Glaciers and Erosion. They're all about my speed, except for the whole talking thing, in which case I speak too fast and should stop that. hahah.
I really do wish I was a more creative person--or maybe, I wish that I was more confident in my creative process. I love all sorts of artistic things, i.e. scrapbooking, drawing, writing, photography, painting model horses, painting rooms, flower arrangements, general arrangements, etc. BUT, I feel so incapable of anything all that unique...I'm good at taking bits and pieces of this and that from what I see elsewhere and am fairly good at translating it to another medium, but I don't know that I view that as being creative exactly. Just a very good chameleon. Or however you spell that silly little lizard's name. I've felt that way ever since I can remember, even in middle school. I'm not sure if I just don't have the sheer talent for what I want to do, or if I just don't have the follow through to make it go deep enough to truly become "mine" in my heart. I dunno. Will have to ponder on that one...and keep taking classes for inspiration, I guess. :o) For now, I'll just work on being happy being the steady purple sparkler that shines on amongst all the bursting red and blue fireworks that I see elsewhere. heh.
That bleeds rather well into my other thought...I view myself as being a warm, comforting, stable person--cozy, and therefore, not spectacular. Although my best friend would probably argue that vehemently...which is pretty cool, all things considered. I wish I could see myself through her eyes sometimes, and she through mine. We'd both be happier with ourselves, I think. I must (again) actively work on being more the person I'd rather be...I've actually made some positive steps toward this, but I see the need to make more now. Because, there are times that I absolutely positively yearn to be a spectacular and vibrant person...someone who not only is a comfort for her friends, but also a bit of an inspiration, or at least a zesty person. lol. Passion and vitality are some of my favorite things, yet I quietly indulge in my passions and dream about other people who are simply quite fantastic. I do believe that's part of why I'm consistently drawn to artistic people, I admire their ability to follow through on their passions, their muse, to see their life blood out there pulsing and pumping for all to see...despite their fears and hangups, they're out there LIVING and that's just so wonderful.
While cleaning off the dining room table this morning, I stumbled across a Reader's Digest. I adore that magazine, yet I've not even read any of the ones we've gotten this year. O.o The headline on one of them caught my eye, it was how to conquer the clutter without stress. Yeeeaaaaahhhh, right. But, actually, it was a very interesting article. And even more on the "how to" they focused on the "why" of it--clutter causes stress, and it's not just the stress of 'seeing' all the clutter, it's the stress of everything behind why you let it get that way. And the one I found interesting was the thought that disorganization was another way to avoid success--that clutter or the disorganization in other areas built a barrier between the person and the steps that it would take towards reaching out towards a goal. Or, a built in excuse, if you shall. I'm not saying that's exactly "it" for me....but it's not totally an insane idea either. It's got some merit to it. And the other thing it mentioned was that some people have clutter in their house as a way to withdraw from other people...i.e., they never ever invite anybody over (or conversely, never leave because there's too much to do...). I just about died when I saw that, because that is so true for me. Not that I consciously do it to avoid having people over....but certainly, don't want anybody over to see it as is. But, we're making very good inroads on changing that this month. Did a lot of cleaning up in the kitchen and living room, and will have four days next weekend to finish up the rest of the house. I am actually LOOKING forward to it! lol. It's been driving me up the wall for the whole year, and it'll be good to not die everytime I think of my house....ugh. THEN the important thing is to MAINTAIN, MAINTAIN, maintain. Ye Gods. But, really, I do want to, and that's a much different outlook than a few years ago...then I wanted to want to do so, you know? Which is sort of where I am right now with the eating healthier bit, though I am working on that as well.
Sheesh. Enough rambling? Maybe so. But it's good to do so, I think. At least, it feels good tonight.
ACK! The LJ Meet Up is getting closer. Which is awesome and nerve wracking at the same time. I'll maintain positivity--after all, I was freaked about going to MI and that turned out absolutely fantastic. Shall just have to look at it as a grand adventure, and see if maybe we'll actually connect and find some new friends. If not, at least it'll be a fun evening. :o)
